Hey, anon who asked if we could submit fanfiction chapters here. These are the highlights from the first chapter of a fanfiction by some person on fanfiction.net, starring herself, N, and an extremely OOC set of characters. There was sadly no real profile, so I hope this is acceptable. I tried to cut it down as much as I could, but it’s still really long.
Hi, I’m Sparkle Armida Violet Galactia-Harmonia. As in, my dad is Cyrus and I’m married to N. This is my Umbreon Luna, and my many ribbons and trophies from my extensive contest career. Huh… you wanna know how I got this scar on my neck? Well, I guess I’d better start at the beginning. You might want to get comfortable because this is a very long story. It was a bright but chilly autumn day, in my fourth period science class…
So already this is…questionable. Cyrus doesn’t have a surname in canon, and if he did it probably wouldn’t be ‘Galactica’. Also, why the hell is her name so long? And why the fuck would Cyrus name his child ‘Sparkle’? She’s also married to N, and is some sort of brilliant coordinator, and from normal Earth.
I hate to say it, but it only gets worse.
Yes, I know my name isn’t REALLY Sparkle, but I’m trying to distance myself from society and normality. But they still lock me up here for my daily six hours of brainwashing, or education as they call it. I call it boring.
Okay, so it’s one of those, is it?
I can gossip with the best of them, and I got a ninety eight percent on a geometry test seventy percent of the class failed, but I honestly don’t care! My true colors are for few to see. Few meaning NO ONE!
I believe this paragraph speaks for itself.
At least I don’t go out drinking and driving. If society had more people like me, we wouldn’t be in debt; children would be taking advanced geometry in fourth grade, and would be working and contributing to society by thirteen. Not wasting our lives writing essays and living in whatever colorless box society dictates we fit into as teens.
No, if society had more people like you we’d be spending all our resources trying to build a portal to the pokémon world instead of, I dunno, something actually worthwhile.
Also, psychiatrists would be in much, much higher demand.
I have the greatest mom ever and I HATE it. All I ask of her is acceptance of my fandom, and alone time for Fanfictions. What do I get? Popularity, expensive clothes, and everything a girl could want.
Wow. Just wow. Do you know how many people would kill for a mom like that?
Also, acceptance of your fandom and time to write fanfictions can totally go together with your mom buying you stuff.
I’m combat boots (okay, everyone wears them, but I like them too.) black jeggings, purple tank tops and gray crop tops! Not slippers, yoga pants, 70$ jackets and a Starbucks cup. I don’t even LIKE coffee! If I need caffeine, coke cherry zero from a vending machine will suffice.
And…who’s putting who in a box now? Because it sounds to me like she’s stereotyping the entire teenage female population of America. Also, ‘coke cherry zero’?
"Yeah, just no ideas. The main character just fell off a cliff and is in a coma, while her boyfriend’s brother is secretly in cahoots with the evil dude and she is the only one who knows. Not sure whether to have her wake up first or have him kidnap his step-mother." Rachel giggles, "your stories don’t even sound like Fanfictions the way you describe them!
Yeah, they sound like some vague melodramatic plot you pulled out of your ass. Also, I’m pretty sure a dive off a cliff would do more than make you comatose.
The trail he takes is a simple one, down past my high-school, almost to my old middle school, and into the woods in between. Now I’ve never been in those particular woods. I have a good reason too. A forest between two schools? Drugs are a huge possibility. Yes I’m a goody-goody who fears everything
Apparently goody-goodies think of the educational system as brainwashing. This character is just so full of contradictions.
Cyrus sighs, running a hand through his hair, “Her name was… well her name was Sparkle. She was my only daughter, and people from this dimension took her as a baby. I don’t know why they wanted her, but she HAS to be alive. I’m not going to believe that she is… dead.” He chokes out the last word in a flurry of emotion like I’ve never seen from him. Who knew this guy had a soft side?
Cyrus, the dude who wanted to ELIMINATE ALL EMOTIONS, everyone.
She’s wearing skinny jeans and… combat boots.
Because taste in shoes indicates relation by blood.
I look up, and he’s holding colored contacts; his eyes are actually green.
…was there a point to that? Did she just want to prove that canon is hers to tear apart or something?
I see where I get my attitude. I’m surprised I didn’t see this coming.
If you see any similarities between your attitude and Cyrus’ then you probably need professional help.
His bright green eyes almost tear up, but he pulls himself together. I pull him into a hug, “I love you too dad.”
This is so OOC I can’t even…this isn’t Cyrus. At all.
"What are you doing here?" I ask. "Well miss conspiracy theory, what do you think?"
How does this dude who just met her know everything about her? And when were conspiracy theories ever mentioned?
"I’m your half-brother. Dad cheated on my mom about fourteen years ago, the marriage still stands. Somehow you’ve always been his favorite."
If you’re wondering who this is, it’s fucking PAUL. That’s right, Paul from the anime. And he’s apparently Cyrus’ son.
"I can see why you feel that way. By the fact that you couldn’t even watch your Umbreon take a hit, you seem like the type." I bite my lip, "You say it like it’s a bad thing."
"it’s not, but it is. You’re very nice, and Luna already loves you. But, you fear battles. That could hinder you. If I were to suggest a career move, I’d say coordinator." I nod, "That’s actually what I was thinking!" Paul smiles a bit, "Well, you’ll be good at it. I saw your trick to make sure Charm hits every time, that’s really smart." But his eyes look distant, "Even so, you need to be careful, not everything in this world is how they portrayed it there."
This is Paul talking. So OOC that he’s unrecognizable, as is the standard with this suethor.
"Ash… he taught me so many things. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say I feel like I’m in the presence of a genius when he’s around. But don’t tell anyone!"
Paul, why are you so OOC? Why are you calling Ash a genius? You should be the last person to ever do that. Why, Paul? Why?
Comashipping is canon, I knew it!
I’m not sure you know what ‘canon’ means.
On that note, chapter one is done. As much as I’d like to read the other 14 chapters, I don’t think my brain cells can handle it.
Sorry for clogging up your inbox with this fanfic chapter, there was no real profile. If there was, I would have sent that.