Humanity’s brightest. Most intelligent person in Military Police, Hoo boy, special snowflake syndrome much? Like seriously, humanity’s brightest? Lena is very curious and dedicated girl. Also a big perfectionist. Usually she’s quiet and don’t talk too much, but she can also be sarcastic, noisy and annoying, just like her twin brother. She loves stupid jokes and pranks. Mostly seen while studying anatomy books or working on new kind of weapons, Lena doesn’t like spending time with others. She lacks confidence and any social sense. She prefers hard working in her room than paryting with people from her squad. She has a hard time while builging new relationships. Lena is kind of shy and it’s easy to hurt her. Although she can hold grudge for very long time and won’t be stopped before she gets her revenge.
Her entire personality is one whole contradiction. Her pose shows a confident young lady, right? Well wrong. Apparently she’s “quiet” and “doesn’t talk much”, and is also kind of anti-social and “shy”, and “easily hurt”. Also “lacks confidence”. Yet at the same time she’s “sarcastic, noisy and annoying”, and “likes stupid jokes and pranks”? Author, you need to pick a personality and stick with it. The first traits I listed do not match up with the second set of traits, and the first set of traits do not match up with how you portrayed her in the image. Looks like you’re just trying too hard to be likeable, either that or you thought you were giving her flaws when really you were just adding nonsensical traits.
Lena is one of the Schneider twins - Lions from North - daughter of aristocrat from King’s surroundings and high priest. Both of them, alongside with their distant cousin, Dimitri lived good and decent life behind Wall Sina, until a certain accident. When she was 7 years old she was abducted with her brother and cousin, as well as with other childer from every Wall. They were held in some kind of underground laboratory. Cruel experiments and genetic changes, caused them a lot of painful memories and phobias (And where are YOUR debilitating phobias? Of course this OC is so special she doesn’t experience the consequences of this bullshit experiment). After a year of searching her parents finally managed to rescue all children (How the hell did her parents find all these children when the operation was being run underground? You’d think this organization would be secretive enough that they don’t get caught in, oh I don’t know, a year?). Some of them were already dead, in results of experiments. Higher-ups covered for this accident (What higher-ups? Why were they even involved in all of this?), but it still remain in hearts of rescued kids. The experiments conducted by army to create new type of titans, that can control others and won’t kill people, named Berserkes. Only a few of them were consider succesful, beside them Lena, whose operation codename was “Schrodinger”.
All of this caused Lena to be obsessive for one point - revenge on those who conducted experiments. After a few years of rehabilitation and peace, she decided to join army with other Berserkers. Through good passed exam and promotions they could reach King’s surroundings and kill whoever was responsible for thei tragedy (She apparently went through “rehabilitation and peace”. Why is she still obsessed with revenge?). Using her parents conections and position in Miliatry Police, Lena and other finally discovered the truth behind experiments and goal behind them - Berserkes where just half product. The purpose was to create ideal titan being, called now Neo Berserker that was supposed to use in coup d’etat and abolition of the King. Both Schneiders and other Berserkers decided, that they will do everything they can to stop that faceless organization from taking over the reign and then fullfil their personal revenge.
This entire backstory is just what the fuck. Seriously you have humans, titans and titan shifters. Already it’s super difficult to steal the serum that allows titans to gain a consciousness. Why in the world do you feel the need to add just another non-human category? And what the hell is a Berserker anyways? What was the purpose of this experiment? I doubt scientists in this timeline have the means to create such a thing in the first place. Also, the ideology behind the Berserker experiments was revolution, but Erwin Smith is already planning a revolution. NO, stop trying to make your OC so special.
Also, why in the world would the higher-ups cover up this operation and support it? They’d lose their positions and power if revolution was carried out. LIKE REALLY UGGGGHHHHH
The main reason Lena joined army was to carry out her revange on the organization and higher-ups responsible for experiments that ruined her and her family’s life.
But after realising the real goal of creating Berserkers, she decided to protect the kingdom first. Joining Military Police was for the better contact with high ranks and King’s surroundings.
Honey how are you even going to find the people who experimented on you through the military police? Besides I highly doubt the “higher-ups” (seriously, who are these people? It’s just so random) who you’re aiming to kill will just go unnoticed if they die. Chances are your OC is going to get in a lot of trouble.
If you really want to get in on all the classified cult information, shouldn’t you have joined the other branch of the MP? The one that murdered Pastor Nick and the one that Commander Nile Dawk has no control over? I mean, it’s more logical to obtain information and then carry out revenge. I’m not entirely sure how you even used your parents’ “connections” to gain information. If this is as covert as you imply, I don’t think she can just gain information like that, especially if she’s not a HIGH-RANKING OFFICER.
As was said before, the thing that keeps Lena going is her revenge and desire to protect her family and kingdom. As for the future plans, she would be aiming for position of general.
Intelligence - 10/10
Social Skill - 3/10
Vitality - 10/10
Speed - 6/10
Battle Skill - 9/10
I have a feeling the Berserkers were created to be better than humans, and therefore give the creator an excuse to have such high stats. You could’ve at least given her some logical, debilitating personality flaws. But I already covered the contradictory personality.
Lena loves books, especially those conected to anatomy and history. She also has interest in all kind of weapons and new types of medicaments; she makes them by herself too.
She dislikes crowd, all kind of criminals, laboratories and cigarettes.
WHAT THE FUCK. NO YOU CANNOT JUST CREATE MEDICINES AND WEAPONS WILLY NILLY THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS
Habbits (I think you mean “hobbies”)
Reading books, drawing, making weapons.
- Lena is a Berserker by name of “Schrodinger”. She was rejected as Neo Berserker because she still kills people.
- She has steel-wired gloves with lion’s head on them.
- She admires her father greatly.
I highly doubt she can just get away with killing people. Not only will the MP and the Wall Cult extremists notice, but whoever experimented on her will also notice. I’m pretty sure they’d try to kill her to get rid of the evidence.
All in all, this OC is… a train-wreck. This is just not okay. Just… WHY.